2 March 2011

Marriage Killers

Read this today in the Daily Express Newspaper by Dr. James Dobson.

Below are some of the main major 'Marriage Killers' that are responsible for the high divorce rate that plaques today's families;

1. Over-commitment & physical exhaustion : Doing everything at once i.e getting married, study, full time work, have a baby, fix a home, start a business all at once or some at all at once depending on the couple ability. Danger!

2. Excessive credits & conflict over how money is being spent : Spending over the budget or way over the budget on many occasion will lead to ..you know what.

3. Selfishness: Marriage between 2 givers are beautiful but if 2 takers..nay!

4. Unhealthy relationship with in-laws : If either husband or wife is not fully emancipated from parents, best not to live near them.

5. Unrealistic expectations : do not expect more from one another when he/she is not capable of providing at the given time or point of time.

6. Space invaders : No "breathing room"

7. Sexual frustration & its partner, the greener grass of infidelity : aka 3rd person!! committing adultery

8. Business collapse : This is especially to men. Their agitation over financial reverses sometimes precipitates anger within the families.

9. Business success : Almost risky as business failure. King Solomon wrote " Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread". Edward Fitzgerald said " One of the saddest pages kept by the recording angel is the record of souls that have been damned by success. Its true!

10. Getting married too young : The pressures of adolescences and the stress of early married life do not mix well. Finish the first before taking on the second.

11. Alcohol & substance abuse : Excessive in take of alcohol is not good for the person & will directly effect the families.

12. Pornography, gambling & other addictions : Excessive / too much is not good for the person & will directly effect the families.

These are just a few marriage killers. But in truth, the list is virtually limitless. All that is needed to grow the most vigorous weeds is a small crack in the sidewalk. If you are going to beat the odds and maintain an intimate, long terms, you must take the task seriously. The natural order of things will carry you away from one another, not bring together.

adapted from Daily Express 2nd March 2011 Page 30.

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